Be Still

The past six weeks have shown me a lot of how I am still a work in progress. We went from approved for a house to have to start over because of issues in my past. I had days of questioning life and everything I had worked for and had many breakdowns in the process. We would have a breakthrough and then a setback usually within a day. There was a 2-week delay on closing and whew issues all the way through. My husband was consistent through it all and said God wants us to have this house, he will make it work. I on the other hand was doubting so much that I had to step back and wonder why am I here? What was my purpose, and did I hear God wrong?

After six weeks of turmoil, I can say I am sitting surrounded by boxes in our home that is closed and ours. I’m ready to get back to work on this blog and launch it even bigger than it was before to show what God has done for us and made me look deep within myself in order to see that I’m still a work in progress as so many of us are. It is so hard not to doubt when things get hard especially when you are one that runs from conflict or puts your head in the sand. This ordeal has made me want to deepen my studies and my time with God and learn to lean on him more than I ever had before but in the heat of the moment, I ran the opposite way.

 When the going got tough I lost it. I literally lost my mind a few times and reverted to my depression as I knew what to expect with that and in some sad ways, it was comforting because it was familiar. How many times will we revert to something that is familiar even though not the right thing to do just because we know what to expect during that time? In the last six weeks, the bible study leader was the one thinking of killing herself because it would be so much easier than dealing with everything going on. In 6 weeks, I thought about it more than I had in a year and that scared me more than all the conflict going on around me.

During it, my husband took the reins, he was the one telling me I needed to pray and spend time with God because without Him we would not have the house. Talk about a shock to me, but a good kind. But during those moments I did not want to hear it, I was running and scared of the changes going on in our lives. I spent less and less time in the word and prayer and felt like I was drowning. After those 6 weeks, thanks to my husband and friends that knew what was going on keeping me in their prayers I am feeling back to a steadier ME!

So, look out world, I am stronger and wiser and looking to spread the word on what God can do even when you try to run away. I have been having a lot of thoughts coming lately and cannot even write them down fast enough in order to remember them for later. But for tonight I will leave you with this verse:

In all this, you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

1 Peter 1:6-7

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The other night my youngest asked me if I was letting God change me. At first, I was like no, I am still the same nice person overall that I have always been. Then I started thinking, oh how wrong I was. God is changing me so much on the inside.

The old me never would have stepped foot into speaking in front of a crowd and yet I have done that now and it was very freeing to speak about something very near to my heart. I have let God take control and I do not stress as much over all the little day to day things that need to get done. I do not let the enemy attacks bring me to the pit as easily. I am not saying I am healed but a lot better than the old me. With Him the old me has passed away and have been reborn. The old me would have been sunk after one sentence and in a pit of despair over every little thing; now it takes more but I still sink after a while. It is a steady progression on how long before I sink but I do not let it keep me there.

I have been more relaxed and less stressed since just letting God take control. If I start to feel stressed, I turn to God in prayer and just ask Why? or What do we do now? I may not always get an answer right away, but I just keep putting it up in prayer until I do get an answer. I am developing my trust and my faith that way when something does come; I’m prepared, and it won’t send me into the pits of depression again.

For more information regarding Anchored HOPE please contact us.

HOPE in the midst of depression…

There is HOPE in the midst of pain, in the midst of depression. Psalm 77:1-3 says it so well:

“I cry out to God; yes, I shout.

Oh, that God would listen to me!

When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord. All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted.

I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for His help.”

Psalm 77:1-3

The Psalmist continues for several more verses of the despair we know all too well. He knew what it felt like to be in the pit of depression and yet not feel the comfort of the Father.

But – just as he gives weigh to his despair, he recalls all God has done in verses 11 through the rest of the chapter…

“But then I recall all You have done, O Lord; I remember Your wonderful deeds of long ago.

They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about Your mighty works.”

The Psalmist takes his focus off himself, his problems, his feelings and begins to worship Our Heavenly Father! Our God is ever faithful! Even when we can’t see it, even when we can’t feel it…He is always on the throne and in complete control – even when…!

Satan would LOVE for us to keep our focus on ourselves, our pitiful lives.


Psalm 86 reminds us to keep calling on God constantly! He knows what our pain feels like. He knows how weary and tired we get. He knows how our troubles and pain can be so great that all we can do is cry out to Him. Even when there is no relief in sight, He wants us to trust Him, acknowledge His greatness and trust Him as we wait for better days ahead. We have the assurance of Him answering our prayers. We need only trust in His will and His perfect timing.

CHOOSE today Whom you will serve! CHOOSE today to remember ALL He has done in and through your life! And commit to telling it to your family, your children, their children!

For more information regarding Anchored HOPE please contact us.

ever feel this way

Ever think it sounds good to crash your car, cut yourself, take a drink to drown out the pain of the day; empty a bottle of pills or any other destructive though? Ever feel like the world is just too much to take? Ever feel like the only people who truly cared about you are gone? Ever feel like you do not do anything right or make anyone happy? The baby just will not be quiet for 2 seconds, the dogs will not stop chewing everything up or marking their territory, nothing can stay clean for more than a minute. The teenager will not quit rolling her eyes at everything, the husband that gets on your last nerve. Man, oh man these are the moments that just send you into a spiral turn for the worst and if you battle depression it could send you into a suicidal spin.

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. It is 3rd for 10-14-year-olds and 2nd for 15-24-year-olds. More than 90 percent of children who die from suicide have a mental health condition. When are we going to wake up and smell the roses that we are in the middle of a mental health crisis and it’s even affecting our children?

4 out of 5 suicides had warning signs beforehand such as they threatened, had tried before, obsessed with death, depression and making final arrangements. I know several times I had everything planned out, who would get my stuff and where my kids would go. I had planned on what I would even wear and what I would be buried in. Life was just too much to handle in my own head. I could not do it anymore and I did not want to be a burden to anyone anymore. The scary thing is the numbers rise every year; I found out I was not alone in this battle. Two people can go through the same situation, but it will affect them completely differently due to different factors of their mental condition.

Mental Illness can be inherited, be part of the environment, social status, sex, medications we are on or have taken, the diet we follow and our overall wellbeing. In order to start breaking the cycle, we have several steps that need to be taken. We need to step back and track our thought processes. Where do these thoughts even come from? Why is suicide an option? What is triggering them to come upon us? Is there a basis for the thought to be true or false? Make a journal of the thoughts and map them back. Do they spring from a trigger or are they part of wanting to escape the pain? Keep track of the journal to use in your healing.

Suicide is a topic that affects us whether we want to admit it or not. We have to come together as one nation under God to help fix this issue. Close to 800,000 a year worldwide dies due to suicide. 1 person every 40 seconds according to the World Health Organization. They also go on to say, “In much of the world suicide is stigmatized and condemned for religious or cultural reasons. In some countries, suicidal behavior is a criminal offense punishable by law. Suicide is therefore often a secretive act surrounded by taboo and may be unrecognized, misclassified or deliberately hidden in official records of death.” (WHO, 2002) The US is #27 out of 183 countries but we could be so much better. So, until Mental health is brought more into the forefront and accepted what can we do to help ourselves and our friends? The biggest achievement we can do in our lives is to accept that we are not the higher being. We are not God; I know several who have the God complex, but they are not it. We need to come to terms that we need God in our lives to live a more fulfilling life. All the answers we need are in the Bible; we just need to dig deep and really focus on turning our lives around. It can be done, and we will work through this journey of growing from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

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Dark Clouds

Ever have a day where the dark clouds seem to just keep rolling in. Don’t you wish the sun would just peek through and save you from the pain or did you think about making the pain go away another way? Have you had the dark clouds make you think that there is no other way other than taking your own life? Rest assured you are not alone. Depression is a tough illness to battle because there is generally no outward appearance of it. We cannot look through pictures and point out the ones who are depressed and those that are not. People can get pretty good at hiding what is going on underneath the surface to the point that you would never know anything is wrong until it is too late.

Suicide is a nasty killer. While contemplating it you will think that it is the best thing for everyone around you. You will think that it is the best thing for you also to escape the pain and the rat race that you are on. I have lost people, known people and have battled it myself. Life is not always easy and a lot of times we make it so much harder on ourselves by not following our instruction book. That’s right we have been given an instruction book; the Bible still is pertinent today as it was 2000 years ago. Whatever you are going through you can find it in the Bible, if not the exact subject you can find something close to it.

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

2 Corinthians 7:10

To me this means if we have our eyes too much on the worldly side of life it will affect our minds and cause us to want to die. But if we look to God with our sorrow and repentance, he will give us peace. Peace that passes understanding that we do not deserve but he is willing to give to us if we ask.

For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

Matthew 23:12

We all need to humble ourselves that we are not perfect. There is not a perfect person out there living on this Earth. God wants us to help each other;

…make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

1 Thessalonians 5:15

Above all else we are to love each other as we love our self. Yet, when you do not love yourself that is a hard one to think about. Better one might be

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Luke 6:31

This one has helped me better than loving the neighbor; because so often I do not love myself so how would I love someone else like that. But to do onto others as I would want done to me is easier because I am serving others; I try to keep everyone happy. I would want someone to try to make me happy so that is my approach to that idea today.

Overall, just remember Suicide is not the end. It may be the end to your pain, but you leave behind many other questions and it also means that you are giving up on God. He is the ultimate healer and will do great things if we give him the chance to work. He is always beside us and when we are going through the tough times; Remember that you are learning something that may be useful later. I am thankful for the scars I have because now I can truly be compassionate to a variety of people. God will use that compassion to further his kingdom by the fact that I’ve been there, done that and lived through it to tell my story and how God is going to use my story to help keep others alive and living for him. So, no matter what you have been through find a way to use it to help someone else. If we would all help each other rather than run down other people, this world would be a greater place overall.

For more information regarding Anchored HOPE please contact us.


First off let me say, this post began February 20, 2020…it is only now as I finalize it and proofread it that we are in the state that we are currently in with COVID-19. Life is too short – I pray you will choose to take action today!

Hum…you gotta do some REAL heart searching when it takes you 6 years to get around to finishing that book.
God has a BIG plan and in HIS perfect timing…but in HIS own way  — NOT mine!
This is the book HE definitely gave me when the counselor said, “you need to go deeper.” She had no idea there was even such a book…she meant literally in my relationship with God.

So, I left there in tears and praying – how on earth do I go any deeper in my relationship with You Lord? I prayed as I drove by McKays (a massive store that sells used books, etc.) that I wouldn’t look at anything else…only what God pointed out for me…since shopping is my “go to” when I’m struggling with depression. And I kid you not – the first book I came to and saw on the shelf – there it was — DEEPER by Debbie Alsdorf.
God had once again answered my prayers!

But life… specifically our marriage, was restored better than ever before, and well I got distracted and life continued with the selling of our home because of my health. So, this book got placed in one of many boxes as we downsized.

Until… I heard The Father say, “it’s time to go deeper.” I knew immediately what He was referring to — so I led a Bible study with friends on Deeper. Awesome study, but once again life…cancelled groups, not everyone is able to make it, so I kept putting it off – once again prolonging the finishing of this book. We finally did end up finishing the book as a group with me and only one other… and yet I still have this overwhelming feeling knowing there’s still so much more God had planned for ME in this book, in this time of truly going deeper with Him!

Months later I felt an overwhelming sense and desire to go back through the book, the study, notetaking, highlighting, underlining! God is speaking directly to me “for such a time as this!” I continue to be blown away by His truths in this book, how every word touches my heart, touches an unhealed wound, cuts to my core — there’s still so much more He has for me, if only I would go deeper in Him, in my relationship with Him, in my trusting Him, in my love for Him, in my surrender to Him! But you know what other book speaks even more so than this one has to just me…. HIS WORD, the BIBLE!!!

Then God leads me on an awesome 24-hour getaway with loved ones for a women’s retreat! And what is the topic…”Embrace the Transformation”. Embracing the transformation God is doing in and through you, whether you like it or not. Just like the caterpillar has no choice about going into the cocoon…

“One day, the caterpillar stops eating, hangs upside down from a twig or leaf and spins itself a silky cocoon or molts into a shiny chrysalis. Within its protective casing, the caterpillar radically transforms its body, eventually emerging as a butterfly or moth.”

There are so many descriptions of the caterpillar’s transformation, yet this one struck me most:

“In order to be able to become a butterfly, the caterpillar has to fall apart completely, decompose down to its very essence, devoid of any shape or consciousness. It literally dies. There is nothing left of it.”

Even at the depths of our soul, even those unknowing, untrusting of God, cry out for this transformation! Oh, my friend, if only, if only we would trust The Creator of the world! If we could just begin to grasp His amazing love for us, even while we were still sinners, His amazing, sacrificial love for each of us! We would want a relationship with Him! He has a purpose and plan for each one of us! We each have a specific role, purpose to play in His divine plan!

I have so much growing to do…we all do! And the first thing is learning we can trust this God, Creator of the world, Lover of our souls, Friend, and Savior. Every day He is calling us to come away with Him, to a place where we can be still and know that He is God. What’s stopping you from coming near to Him? Is it anger at how God handled, or didn’t handle something in your life? Is it trust issues? Is it because you look around this world and think how on earth could He let all these things happen if He truly loves us? Oh, my friend, I understand. I get it. And more importantly – He gets it and He’s right there waiting for you to give Him a chance to speak into your life.

I’m obediently following His command to me to be available 24/7 for those hurting and suffering in the pit of depression. You don’t have to suffer in silence, you aren’t alone in this struggle! I understand more than you know and am willing to come alongside you as you go on this journey through life. If you are like me, you’ve tried everything else in this world – why not give Him a try!!!

Join us and start truly living now!!!

For more information regarding Anchored HOPE please contact us.


What do we have to be thankful for in the mundane of every day life? Well let’s face it, though we go through everyday life, doing the same old thing, day after day — we do have an opportunity to make the most of every second of our time. And it is in those very seconds that we are able to grow, learn, and strengthen our relationship with God so that when the highs and lows of life come along, which they always do, you are prepared. You are equipped to handle them with His strength, His power. You are able to see the highs and lows through a different lens. You aren’t completely drained, empty, or void of all He is.We must choose each day, regardless of how busy we are going here and there, to be still and know that He is Lord. Psalm 46:10 We must choose each day to get alone with God and position ourselves in a manner where He can speak truth to us, where we can hear His voice! Let’s face it, we all live with way too many hurts, lies that have held us in bondage for far too long! I don’t know about you, but I’m for one tired of living to please everyone, knowing that I will never be able to please anyone! But I do know The Creator of the world, and He knew me before I was ever formed in the womb, Jeremiah 1:5. He created me for a specific purpose…and guess what — He created you for a specific purpose too!So in order to understand more fully what that purpose is, why we are even here in this world, we must choose to be still and allow God our full attention. It’s in the mundane of life that we must choose to be proactive so that we won’t be reactive. When everything in life is out of the ordinary it can be too much. Because mundane isn’t of the ordinary, we can and should take advantage of every second to be still, draw near to God. That’s when He speaks to us, preparing us for the road ahead, the highs and the lows.I’d love the opportunity to talk with you about how God continues to use the mundane in life for me…and prayerfully come alongside you as you too make the most of the mundane!

For more information regarding Anchored HOPE please contact us.

this TRUTH will set you free!

The TRUTH will set you free! I’m sure you’ve heard this all throughout your life…or at least I have. Yet there is soooo much more to this than you could ever begin to imagine!

You see when I was in the beginning stages of trying to get well after my last hospitalization in 2002 for all the suicide attempts and ending the ECTs that weren’t working anyway, God took me in a direction, a direction I never knew would actually circle back around at this time in life. A time when my everyday life has proved doctors wrong time and time again, in spite of the chronic pain and health problems I endure. A time when I’ve been obedient to His calling to share my horrific experience, embarrassing story among not just anyone, but among other Christians, here God brings me back to where He took me well over 15 years ago! Ok…enough thinking back, are you ready for me to get on with the story? Okay, okay…but I am just beyond words! I’m just so completely overwhelmed at His amazing goodness, His amazing grace, His love and joy unspeakable…and all in spite of me and my efforts to end it all, to refuse to trust Him, to choose, even today, everything except Him!

Hold on friend – here we go!

God blessed me with a pastor, mentor and friend that I never fully appreciated as much as I have these past few years, Rev. Don Winn. He never failed to come and visit me in the hospital during that long, drawn out year…though I turned him a way time and time again, though I repeatedly tried to take my own life. Bro. Don was always there, always pointing me back to God and His love and forgiveness. I am beyond grateful for people just like him that God has brought into my life, and at the most critical times in my life!

You see Bro. Don introduced me to Bill and Anabelle Gillham through Lifetime Guarantee which opened me up to the life changing truths that I had never fully grasped all my life, truths that I never grasped even though I was raised in the church — everyday those doors were open! Now, whether that is because of me, my stubbornness, God’s timing, I don’t know and at this point I’m just beyond thankful for God’s grace to finally get it to stick – in my heart… not just my head! I highly urge you to check out their ministry…and especially the book – it was the beginning of the transforming of amanda, and the journey is continuing on even now! Lifetime Guarantee

Bro. Don took us through The Life study Bill and Anabelle Gillham have, The Life DVD Series FREE on YouTube. I highly recommend this series, though it was just the beginning for this journey in my life, I pray you aren’t as stubborn as I. At HOPE I like to take on a more positive view of myself, determined, rather than stubborn!

Once finished with that study, I had many a talk with Bro. Don and all the therapy sessions with professionals in Nashville, both Christian and non-Christian, medications, etc. — yet that hopelessness still loomed over me. But my hunger for God was more alive every day, so I asked Bro. Don if there was a better Christian counseling I could go to, and he pointed me in the direction of Grace Life in Brentwood. I remember it was a most unusual and surreal environment…yet similar to every counseling office I had ever been in before. This is where I was introduced to something so amazing, life-changing…Transformation Prayer Ministry. This method of counseling took me to a place I never knew existed, a place where things I held deep within my heart, and in the recesses of my mind would come to the forefront, a place where God would reveal His truth about the things I had come to believe that were not true at all. I had no idea the potential this type of prayer could do in my life until God has brought this back around, now 15 years later!

When we listen to God, that still, small voice, we never know what we are in for until we obey! And last week was one of those occasions as I was cleaning up the countless emails, delete, delete, spam, trash, etc. But there was one, one God clearly, but ever so quietly said, ‘Open’. I hesitated for a few seconds then went back to it and opened it. A free seminar by the author and his son on the revisions they had made to the original counseling model, Transformation Prayer Ministry. I hit the link, sought out the nearest location to me, and wouldn’t ya know they had recently added a Bowling Green, Kentucky, seminar! So in obedience, I signed up!

I was nervous, jittery, and restless the closer it came time for me to go to this seminar. I even found every excuse in the book, in my mind, ultimately in my heart to not go. But in all of that, I continued to pray for God to help me do exactly what He had called me to do at this time in life…regardless of the doors it opened up from the unknown lies within my mind and the fear plaguing my entire being.

You see last year I went through Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. If you’ve never read this book, as every counselor, therapist I have ever had had instructed me to do since I was 13, I highly recommend you pick it up and read it, study it with a group and put the practices of this book into your every day life…but that’s a story for another day. I told my friend that I didn’t need to go through this as my boundaries were all good, but there again God spoke up and said “take it” so I did…thinking now with a new season in life with adult children and them beginning to get married, I’m sure I could learn some new boundaries! And toward the end of that study, that’s when it all opened up…worse than the mystery container in the refrigerator that has been pushed to the back far too many times– stinking, rotting, and oh so painful…but more than any of that – fear – yeah fear rose up in me at the very thought of there being something hidden deep within the recesses of my mind, my heart that needed yet to still be worked on, that needed still yet God’s truth applied – more than any band-aid has ever been needed…this was an outright cancerous growth that had to be dealt with once and for all!

Gosh! I got mad, irritated, and the suicidal thoughts returned out of nowhere! I hadn’t had any of those in soooooo long! But now, here, at this specific time, here they came…even more clearly and plaguing moment by moment than the past 15 years! I prayed asking God where in the world these were coming from, recognizing they were not of me, my sound mind I had come to learn and live by and now teach to others week after week, for over 3 years now! “Untruths that needed His truth applied,” God said. And then I remembered back to my time in counseling, the transforming prayers that had replaced the lies within my mind, with truths from God Himself! I was so afraid! I was afraid of whatever was in my past that still remained, that even after it all was said and done and I had come so far, yet still lingered within the recesses of my mind and held my heart hostage like no other! I prayed God would help me come to grips with it…that He would give me the courage to allow Him to do what only God can do! Weeks later, I finally gave up, I surrendered to God Almighty and said, “Ok – I’m ready Lord…let’s do this.”

A year later…yeah remember our time is never God’s time! And He is such a Gentleman! He never forces us into anything we aren’t truly ready for! So He gave me a full year my friend before the journey back to it all!

He is still revealing piece by piece, day by day, lie with truth…and I’m sure He’ll continue to do so til the day I meet Him face to face…but I trust Him and with His help I will remain in His will as He continues to transform me ever so gently! Though I’m sure, like you, I wish He’d hurry up and get it over with…but then I have no idea what lies are to be dealt with — He knows…and guess what? HE knows exactly how much I can handle through His Helper and in just the perfect timing!

Friend, I pray you will Join Me on this journey! You see God doesn’t want this kept a secret! He wants this healing, this truth revealed, shared with every person that is held in bondage to their past, bondage to their pain, bondage to the lies they have come to believe and live by…as this is the only way they will ever begin to live in the hope of healing only He can bring!

Piece by piece, lie by lie, He will heal every one with His healing truth!



More information will be coming soon as we begin to setup times for teaching and training Transformation Prayer!

For more information regarding Anchored HOPE please contact us.

Need to Escape…

When every part of me wants to run, to hide, to not exist anymore…I have a choice to make.  It may be a split second choice, or it may be a recurring choice, but regardless – I have a choice…and so do you!

We probably have never met, but I assure you, we are facing the same need, the same desire for escape – that desperate need to get away, to retreat, to find a way to breathe again, to keep life, circumstances from crashing in on us, to stop the agonizing pain that leaves us paralyzed in fear and lost in a world that cares not for what we suffer.

Just when I think I will never have to face this feeling, this need, this overwhelming desire to escape…here it comes again!

I don’t know what you are going through, or what has brought you to this place.  But I know the One that does know and He understands far more than you could ever imagine!  He is the One and Only reason why I continue to press on, to persevere, to choose to wait it out, knowing He has a better plan ahead, knowing He will use it for good!

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.  For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”

Romans 8:28-29 NLT

I have learned in my walk with God, in my growing relationship with Him, that I can trust Him.  I can trust His Word as His Promise, His Truth, and He keeps it all!  He always has and He always will!  And He has never failed me yet…and even when my “old self” is crying out with all I have, and Satan is tempting me to doubt yet again, I still know that I know and I trust Him!  He has a much better plan ahead for me, even if I can’t see it yet, and even if I never do in this lifetime!

So…what do I do with that overwhelming,
all consuming, desperate need to escape?


He has wide open arms waiting for me, cause He already knows what I’m feeling before I begin feeling it, before it wells up within me, consuming my entire being!  And He’s prepared, He’s ready to comfort, to reassure, and give me His peace that is beyond anything this world could ever offer!

Oh I’m begging you – get to know HIM!  Give Him a chance to reveal more of Himself to you day by day!  He has so much love, comfort, joy, hope and peace for you…far greater than anything or anyone you will ever hope to find in this world!

If you have questions, want to talk, or are struggling with depression…I’m here for you. I do understand. Feel free to contact me. I promise to respond to every email, phone call I get. And if you live in Clarksville, Tennessee, I would love to meet you at our group that meets each Thursday night!

For more information regarding Anchored HOPE please contact us.

Til Next Time

Only God can truly know when we are beat down, depressed, and tired of aimlessly going on.  And only God can truly fix that for and within us!

Why He chooses to heal some people completely and others get temporary assistance til the next time it happens…I have no idea.  But — I do trust The One that IS IN CONTROL and that truly KNOWS BEST!

Does that mean I still face doubts, uncertainties, and yes – even depression – well yeah!  I’m one of the ones that gets the temporary assistance til next time.

Hi – glad to meet ya!

So here’s the next time…God hasn’t chosen to heal me of clinical depression, nor chronic pain that radiates throughout my body (fibromyalgia), nor rhumatoid arthritis, nor degenerative disc disease that has compromised not only my lumbar but also my cervial and now thoracic spine.  But He has chosen to give me exactly what I need and when I need it most — His grace!  And believe me it is beyond more than enough to get me through til the next time!

You might be asking, “How is she so sure?” or “Why does she bother with ‘God’ when He obviously isn’t going to ‘fix’ her?”  BECAUSE….oh the many ways because!


The latest because is when the spine implant that was just replaced in December 2018 has failed in less than 6 months…never charged properly from the day it was replaced and went completely out with no explanation from doctors and engineers.  I’m just told I have to have it done all over again at the expense of an $11,000 deductible.
Nope – God has not told me I have to do that.  In fact God has completely told me to rely on His grace which is sufficient for me each day to not only get me through the day but to thrive each day.  Is that without difficulty?  No.  Is that without pain?  No.  Is that without God?  No!  He’s right there with me every step of the way and He is giving me more than enough to do what needs to be done each day that I trust Him, rely on Him, and look to Him for my everything!  Because HE is my everything!!!  And just to remind me of His all in all, He has given me two amazing friends that are in constant prayer for me and always available to listen, to help, and to pray some more!

I pray for you!  I pray that you will give Him a few minutes of your time each day.  He has so much in store for you.  He’s not finished with you yet my friend!  He loves you beyond all you could ever understand this side of heaven!  He’s already done so much for you, more than you could ever understand this side of heaven!  So what are you waiting for?

If you have questions, want to talk, or are struggling with depression…I’m here for you.  I do understand.  Feel free to contact me.  I promise to respond to every email, phone call I get.  And if you live in Clarksville, Tennessee, I would love to meet you at our group that meets each Thursday night!

For more information regarding Anchored HOPE please contact us.