remain…

WARNING: this post may be a trigger for some.

Please read only if prepared and with caution.

I always try to be as transparent as possible with you all. Any of you that know me closely know that this has been a difficult year in so many spiritual ways (totally nothing to do with a pandemic the world is experiencing might I add). The spiritual warfare is real and so is the transformation…though it does come with suffering. God has reminded me time and time again of THAT word He gave me for 2020…

R E M A I N.

We will suffer when we are being transformed, when we stand with Jesus, and yet we have no inkling of what real suffering even looks like– yet.
Our suffering fails in comparison to those around the world that risk their very life and life of loved ones just to worship Him, just to have His Word! So I do not ever want to compare my suffering to theirs.
But there is coming a time friend when we will experience great suffering for our love and devotion to Him. And THIS is what He is preparing us for!
So in an effort to keep that transparency with you in my struggle of being transformed, in the very breaking of my heart and soul for my loved ones that still do not choose to live for Him as if they truly LOVED HIM…here goes!

Yesterday was a very dark day for me. It seems when physical pain and our own sinfulness, coupled with loved ones living life as they always have, ends up leaving a gap in my mind for satan to waltz right on in.  I can spiral without even knowing I have begun the spiral, in literally no time at all.
The thoughts the enemy put in my mind were more vivid than I believe they ever have been…so real that God knew I needed more help, and help He sent at precisely the time satan was having me mentally blowing my brains out. (I told you it was vivid.) I was so blinded that I could only think of the ones that would be left behind.

BUT GOD had a huge prayer warrior, that obediently listens to Him, send me a sermon from the very same person HE used long ago when I sat in the hospital bed isolated after over a year of suicide attempts.

My friend, ONLY a LOVING GOD, an ALL-KNOWING GOD can do exactly that and at exactly the perfect time!
THAT is the GOD I serve, THAT is the God I love with ALL my heart!

As I say at nearly every group meeting we have had since 2015, I would LOVE to tell you HE has healed me from ALL of this – depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, physical pain, rhumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia (that most people think is all in a person’s head anyway), degenerative disc disease all through my spine, etc. BUT He has not. What HE has chosen to do is to allow me to suffer in similar ways as others do so that I can truly understand, so that I can come alongside you and share His BEYOND AMAZING LOVE for us in that while we were still sinners HE LOVES US!!!

So I say all of THIS to say, it is crucial for us to have God-loving people within our lives at all times. It is crucial we do not leave a gap for satan to be able to walk into our lives. Our mind is one of satan’s most valuable places. Beware of that fact and be alert at all times! You better believe I was studying The Word of God and praying and the gap was still enough that the enemy could do his bidding within my mind.

But THANK GOD HE IS MORE POWERFUL AND ABLE TO DO FAR MORE!!! God has already beaten satan. We need only stand firm. And with the help of GOD Almighty, Jesus, and His Holy Spirit praying on our behalf at all times, as well as strengthening us and sustaining us, we will stand as we remain in HIM.

“Therefore put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.”

Ephesians 6:13 NLT

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